Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We need a shit load of segways right now
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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