i permit you to call me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
