Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
