I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ok first of all what the fuck
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
