just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
