where am i from again
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Im part way to drunk.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
