I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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