Will you blow on my dice?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
