Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
