She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
