so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
