But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
