Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
