The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
