Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
