Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
