Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
