And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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