So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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