Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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