Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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