She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
