It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
