if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
