The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Life is so much better after having sex.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
