I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
