literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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