I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
How does it feel to date your dad?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
