I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
