Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Randomize
