I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
