so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
BRING THE BAGELS
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
