If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
