I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
