Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
