umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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