really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
