...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
