you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
