Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
