his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
