Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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