Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
