Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
