there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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