did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
