Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he puts the penis in happiness.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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