you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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