my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
