do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
